You had me scared for a minute there. :)

Know what? I'm taking a break from being a goddess. It's just so much work. For real. I think I'm going to start being a hedonistic pig instead. No...that's the craziest thing I ever thought of...Like I could give up being a goddess...riiiiight. :-)

Who says that Wisconsin isn't home to any cute, intelligent guys? We've got this one:
.
He lives in Mequon!

Lisa's wedding is in three weeks...so is Dan Austin's. After weeks of careful consideration, I figured out the perfect wedding gift for him. (Note that I said for him, not for them.) I wanted to wrap up the vows from our wedding, and print off a copy of the poem we wrote together the night he came to Eau Claire and ended up sleeping on my futon because Eric Miller was breaking up with (and then getting back together with) Alley all goddamn night. Top that off with the letters we wrote back and forth a few years ago and, voila - a cheap, but very sentimental and perfect, wedding gift.

Well...I was able to find the letters quite easily. They were in the box where I put all the letters I receive. The poem, amazingly, had not been deleted from my computer. But the vows? They're not in my hatbox. That's the only place in the world I would have put them. So...they're lost. I've lost the wedding vows from my artistic union to Daniel M. Austin. I can't believe it. I lost the vows from the only wedding I'll ever have.

Hmm. Idea. I bet that I still have the email he sent when he "proposed." Maybe that'll have to do.

You know...the girls at work like to go out all the fucking time, and they're always begging me to go, I swear I'm supposed to go out to the bars every goddamn night...for a while it was even fun...lots of boys wanted me, and not cuz they were drunk, because they genuinely thought I was beautiful...they were coming into Pasquales to see me, one of them sent me roses to my job, etc...and here I'm thinking I must be something special, but I'm really not, because I feel less than nothing for these boys, and I'm just so sick of it. I'm sick of going on dates. I'm sick of the game, I'm so so tired. I'm tired of trying to make myself like people I don't, I'm tired of trying to make myself compromise for someone I don't really want...I just wanna curl up on the couch and watch movies and be held...I hate that I get sick of boys after an hour. But I never seem to get sick of him.

"The older you get, the fewer slumber parties there are, and I hate that. I liked slumber parties. What happened to them?" ~Drew Barrymore.

I don't know why you dis Great Expectations so much, Sig. I always loved that book. But then, my life has revolved around the pursuit of love, so...thats how we differ.

I went to the library in search of Great Expectation today. Unfortunately, all the copies of the book were checked out. Who ever would have imagined that Great Expectations - or anything by Charles fucking Dickens - would be so popular? Personally, I think it's a terrible book.

That's why I want to read it, in fact. You see, my last Dickens experience was in ninth grade. At fourteen I saw the novel as being a mushy, touchy-feely love story about some whiny pansy boy and a little bitch girl with a crazy grandmother. It didn't help that it was homework - I never took too kindly to being forced to read. Besides - I had no way to relate to Pip and Estella, or to Miss Havisham. I'd never been in love; I had no idea what love was about. None. I had never been rejected by someone I loved, nor had I ever been left by someone I loved. Since ninth grade, I've been both (and both by the same person, in the same sentence...lovely). I suspect that Great Expectations might actually be a good book this time around - that is, maybe I'll get something out of it.

Then again, maybe not. It might just suck. (Quote August Rubrect, English professor: "Did I ever finish Great Expectations? Hell no! I got tired of that shit.") The abridged version does, if I recall correctly, devote almost an entire chapter to a description of a particular kettle that doesn't come up again over the course of the novel.

Wait...why is Dickens one of the greatest writers ever? I wish someone would explain that to me some time.

I don't know....I have no idea if Natty is in Maine or if he's started his new job in Detroit....I don't know anything, cuz he never talks to me. So.